Following the news that Lionel Messi has handed in a transfer request at Barcelona, I’ve decided to look at what would happen if he left the Nou Camp. Here are seven clubs that he more than likely won’t join, but it’s a little bit of fun to think outside the box!
Real Madrid
After deciding that he no longer wants to play for Barcelona, Lionel Messi decides to go and really rub salt in the wounds of the Barcelona directors by signing for their fierce rivals Real Madrid.
“They treated me badly at Barca and a move to Real seemed the most logical step” Messi said when he was unveiled at a press conference at the Bernabeu. “I had been there for years and hating Real had become ingrained into me. They hurt me so much in the summer so I’ve decided I’ll hurt them back”.
Luis Figo was quoted in the press as saying “It’s a brave move by Lionel but he will do well at the club. He just needs to make sure to keep a look out for any pig heads when he goes back to the Nou Camp!”.
Arsenal
Manchester City seemed the only club in England that could sign Messi due to their huge financial backing, but the Argentinian decided to take an enormous pay-cut to join Arsenal for a very strange reason.
“As a kid, I loved to watch Nelson Vivas. He was an inspiration to me and even though he was a defender and I was a striker, I used to love watching him play. When he joined Arsenal to replace Nigel Winterburn, I begged my parents for an Arsenal shirt. I knew at that point that I wanted to play for Arsenal at some point in my career”.
Woking
Lionel Messi shocked the footballing world by joining Conference side Woking. He refused to accept any money from the club saying that he had earnt enough over his career already. The baffled media asked the reason why Messi had chosen Woking as his next club. His answer shocked the world.
“I’m a huge fan of The Inbetweeners. When Jay Cartwright said on an episode that he had taken Woking from the Conference to the Champions League in five seasons, I wanted to see if I could do the same at some point. When all the problems started at Barcelona, there was only one place I was going next!”.
Coventry City
The 1987 FA Cup winners become Lionel Messi’s next employers “because their shirt used to look a lot like the Argentina one”.
City manager Mark Robins initially thought it was a wind up when he took a call from chairman Tim Fisher.
“I was woken up at 4 in the morning by the chairman calling me at home. He told me that Messi wanted to come to the club. I told him to piss off and hung up but he rang straight back and said it wasn’t a wind up. I’m delighted that he’s chosen to play for us, but I’m still a bit shocked!”.
Napoli
Lionel Messi touched down at the airport in Naples to be greeted by thousands of happy Napoli fans at the airport. They were all social distancing and wearing masks, but still clamoured to see their new man for the first time.
At the press conference, Messi said that he wanted to emulate the great Diego Maradona at the same club where Maradona played in the late 1980’s.
LA Galaxy
Lionel Messi opts for the LA Galaxy as his next club after a chance meeting with a movie director who wants to make a movie about the great Argentinian.
“As soon as my playing days are over, I want to be a movie star” Messi told the world. “If I move out to LA now then I can meet all the directors and do a bit of movie work in between training sessions. I want to have my own star on Hollywood Boulevard before I’m 40!”.
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