We’ve already looked at each Premier League club’s player with the highest points per game this season, so it was inevitable we’d do the nastier version too and find out who has the lowest. Who are the players costing their teams points?
The nice, celebratory feature threw up some interesting results and it’s fair to say this one has some eyebrow-raisers too. Players must have started at least ten games to make the cut. Thanks to FBref for the numbers.
Arsenal – Gabriel (1.17)
A season that began with great promise for the Brazilian is unravelling a bit, with the concession of the penalty that gave Fulham the lead in last weekend’s 1-1 draw perhaps a low point.
Aston Villa – Ross Barkley (1.05)
We were weirdly confident this was going to be a really good breakthrough loan move for Barkley and that it would get him right back in the England squad. Sorry about that. Don’t know what we were thinking to be honest.
Brighton – Alexis Mac Allister (0.88)
Not sure who we expected here, but it wasn’t him. Although he does have a fittingly poor goalscoring record for an attacking player to fit the wider Brighton narrative.
Burnley – Matej Vydra (0.68)
Vydra is somehow still only 28 despite having been meandering around English football for at least the last 30 years. Explain that, science.
Chelsea – Kai Havertz (1.46)
Looked pretty lost in the early part of his Chelsea career after a £70m move from Leverkusen as Frank Lampard struggled to work out how and just as importantly where to get the best out of him. Some more encouraging signs recently under Thomas Tuchel, but the fact Chelsea’s Big Three summer signings – who cost a combined £156m – have between them scored fewer Premier League goals this season than Jesse Lingard during his West Ham loan is one of the campaign’s more eye-popping stats.
Crystal Palace – Gary Cahill (1.06)
The third most popular related Google search for Gary Cahill is “Is Gary Cahill retired?” Brutal.
Everton – James Rodriguez (1.33)
A pleasingly baffling outcome to a pleasingly baffling season after a pleasingly baffling transfer. Hats off to all involved.
Fulham – Aleksandar Mitrovic (0.68)
Foolishly scoring all those goals for Serbia and thus playing himself back into the Fulham starting XI for defeats against Villa and Wolves has come at a terrible cost for everyone’s favourite maniac frontman.
Leeds – Tyler Roberts and Helder Costa (1.29)
Roberts in particular is a perplexing footballer. Clearly possessed of enormous and beguiling talent, yet with precious little concrete to show for it in the goals, assists or, it turns out, points columns. Also worth noting that 1.29 is a very high lowest figure (if that makes sense) for a promoted club. Leeds really have been good value, haven’t they?
Leicester – Kelechi Iheanacho (1.58)
Yes, you may have scored eight goals in your last six games but these numbers don’t lie. Well they do. Quite a bit, sometimes. But still.
Liverpool – Thiago (1.39)
The Premier League’s most gifted and exquisitely skilled third wheel.
Manchester City – Kyle Walker (2.14)
2.14 points per game still puts you above every other team in the Premier League, so probably not too much for Walker to trouble himself about here really.
Manchester United – David De Gea (1.83)
Not only usurped as United’s No. 1 by Dean Henderson (2.78 PPG) but also officially Manchester United’s worst player (I don’t make the rules). Fun fact: Paul Pogba (1.91) is Manchester United’s second worst player.
Newcastle – Jamaal Lascelles (0.79)
Look, nobody ever wants to wish an injury on any professional footballer, but maybe Lascelles suffering that stress fracture has an upside for Newcastle. They’ve won both games since. In all, Lascelles has missed five of Newcastle’s last six Premier League wins for assorted reasons.
Sheffield United – Sander Berge (0.08)
A 1-1 draw with Fulham is the Blades’ sole point with the Norwegian in the side. Probably not entirely his fault; nobody with 10 or more Premier League starts for United this season can beat Oli Burke’s meagre 0.59.
Southampton – Jack Stephens (0.85)
I suppose the real question is how many points per game has Stephens lost from a winning position. Or something. Hard to care much about what Southampton do really, given they themselves appear to have stopped worrying about it too much some time around November.
Tottenham – Moussa Sissoko and Eric Dier (1.50)
Matt Doherty being Spurs’ most influential player was something of a surprise to us all, it has to be said. It spun us right out. Made us doubt the merits of the whole thing if we’re honest. Here, then, is news to restore faith and equilibrium.
West Brom – Grady Diangana (0.50)
His only appearance since the 4-0 defeat to Arsenal on January 2 was 18 minutes from the bench in a 1-0 win over Brighton. It was his first and thus currently still only Premier League win with West Brom. Things are actually improving, in a way, is what we’re saying here.
West Ham – Issa Diop (1.54)
Playing in those first two games of the season when West Ham were still same old West Ham was a huge error. Especially as he then only started one more game until mid-February. Has now played a full 90 minutes in each of the Hammers’ last nine league games to qualify for this particular list. It’s like he wanted to be on here.
Wolves – Rayan Ait Nouri (1.06)
The numbers are heading in the right direction at least having had the good sense to play against both Fulham and Sheffield United in recent weeks to nudge that PPG figure above one. Looking at Wolves’ remaining fixture list, we recommend playing in the next three but missing the last three to keep the graph pointing the right way.
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